Film Review: "The Strangers" (B)

I have to say, this was one of the few mainstream horror movies that I've been excited about lately, probably because Liv Tyler is one of my favorite actresses and I was excited to see her in the genre. But, as per usual, one of two things happened: 1) I was underwhelmed, most likely due to my high expectations going in; or 2) I come out hating it. This time, it's number one. SPOILERS follow. Because I just couldn't help myself.

I'll start with what I didn't like first. The big problem with this film is that it gives away the ending in the first 30 seconds - because of this, some of the suspense is immediately taken from the film since you know what the end is going to be. Another problem I had was the masks, except for the Man's, which was at least somewhat creepy. It just seemed a little too "Scream" for me. I know that was part of the film's allure - masked man literally hiding in the shadows - but unless the film is done very well, it just seems cheap to me. And one of the best movies I've seen in recent years featured a home invasion-style plot without any mask wearing (the french flick "Inside"). Also, the whole scene with the friend? When EVERYONE in the movie theater can figure out that sub-plot before it happens, it's just bad. As for the ending ... the last five minutes bugged me for a variety of reasons.

One, why would two seemingly able-bodied young boys be walking their bikes and not riding them if they're not going up a hill? That makes no sense. Two, the Christian pamphlets ... that was too much. Three, they went for the ultimate cheap scare at the very end - which I hate. If you feel you need to do that to scare your audience, you're obviously either in an obviously B-movie or scrambling for an ending. By that point, I was ready for it to be over. Perhaps what ultimately makes this movie sub-par is that it tries to live up to films that have come before it, but just aren't at that level.

However, there ARE good things in the film - I sound like I'm bashing it, but to be honest ... the first half was good, it was just the second half that got lame. In the beginning, we're treated to something you don't often see (except more recently in "Vacancy") where the couple in question is fighting and you don't really know why. Only in contrast to "Vacancy," the two lead actors (Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler) actually have chemistry together and make a very nice start. I was genuinely interested in what was happening between the two of them and the tension already there was a good way to build up to the first encounter with the Strangers. I also really enjoyed the use of the vinyl record - not only was it actually a good soundtrack (although there is no score and surprisingly little dialogue, as well), but the scraping of the record being over is a fantastic way to put the audience on edge. Having a record player myself, I know how creepy that sound is in an otherwise silent house. I felt like the acting was above par for normal horror fare, although I would have liked to see a bit more dialogue between the two leads. I will say this - and I'm surprised at myself, honestly, for liking this - I liked the "i love you" from one character to the other as they were about to die. Usually I hate this cheesy sentimental BS in horror films (because you normally don't really identify with the characters enough to care, anyway), but for some reason it worked for me here.

All in all, this is a fairly entertaining ride for the first 40 minutes. After that, the film tries to do much when it is actually at its best being very simple and silent. I will never understand why so many people in the horror genre don't seem to realize that silence is often scarier than noise.

But hey. At least this wasn't PG-13 or a remake, right? Go see it for at least that reason - perhaps then people will see there is a market for R-rated horror.

Film Review: "The Ruins" (B+)

I should have reviewed this film a long time ago, but I'm a bit behind these days. I actually saw it the night before it came out at a midnight screening (and won the book, which I already had, because no one else knew their trivia), but work and school has taken me hostage.

"The Ruins" would probably have worked more for me if I had not read the book beforehand. I liked the interpretation, but I do think that it was very abrupt and weird changes were made I can't quite understand fully. I'm also pretty damn angry about the ending - what works so well for the book is the bleak outlook and how it doesn't end semi-happily, which the movie does. This is just yet another example that most studios or directors do not have the cojones to close things out like the book does. It does make me wonder, though, what Scott Smith has to say about the movie ending vs. the book ending.

The biggest flaw of "The Ruins" is that it doesn't let itself have a slow-burn. This is one of those rare horror movies that would have been much better had it been 30 minutes longer. I needed more character development, more descent into insanity. That is one of the scariest parts of the story - not the vines, but how the group slowly turns in on itself and the way each character breaks down. This isn't just my opinion, either. After the screening, the friend I went with and I were discussing what actually happens in the book vs. what happens in the movie (I was telling her how they were different from each other, she has not read the novel). She commented (prior to me mentioning anything) that the movie felt like it went too quickly and glossed over the descent into madness by each character. To me, that was the story being told - not the story of the vines. It felt a bit disjointed to me, overall, as if we were bouncing back and forth.

This isn't to say that the movie isn't somewhat effective in making you squirm, although I did feel more prepared because I - at least on some level - knew what happened. The film didn't really need gallons of blood - although there is a fair amount of blood and hey, even a severed limb! Even if I am someone who can stand pretty much anything shown on screen, the sound of those bones being purposefully broken made me wince. I think the scenes in this film will satisfy most horror fans; if you want anymore, go watch "Cannibal Holocaust."

To be fair, I did enjoy the movie. I criticize somewhat harshly mostly because I loved the book, but I respect the film for what it is - a decent interpretation of a fantastic story. It doesn't surpass decent, even if the screenplay was written by the same man who wrote the book in the first place. It's entertaining and creative and certainly a great movie to scare the pants off others, but I needed at least 20 more minutes with the veins for "The Ruins" to be a great experience.

Film Review: "The Car" (A+!)

This film came out of left field and I absolutely loved it. Me and a friend went out to the Drafthouse's Terror Thursday midnight showing of this and promptly had the time of our lives! It is very rare for me and this particular friend to both enjoy a horror film that mixes comedy and horror, especially one that was made in the '70s. Nonetheless, there is nothing in this movie that isn't pure brilliance. Maybe part of it was atmosphere and that we were watching it at my favorite theater with a great audience and having good food, but I really think this movie is perfect entertainment.

To be honest, there isn't much I can say about this film besides remark on how awesome it is. It's such a great example of what every monster movie should try to be. Every moment of this film had me in fits of laughter or seriously enjoying myself. The scene where the James Brolin painting first appeared nearly killed me I laughed so hard and when the painting returned, I had a full-out attack of laughter that left me sore in my ribcage the next day. I want that painting in my living room - I am totally serious.

My life's dream right now is that Josh Brolin does a remake of this. And that someone buys me a poster I can put up immediately.

... the pot of gold at the end of the blood-stained rainbow? you bet.

You know, every so often a movie comes along that I really want to see ... but I'm not sure I should. More aptly, I feel like a horrible person - not to mention a prime example of a bad feminist - for wanting to watch. I suppose that as a hardcore genre fan I should have gotten over that a long time ago, but some things I just can't kick.

Last year it was "Cannibal Holocaust." It took me quite a bit to work up the courage to actually sit down and watch it, although it took me even longer to find a copy of it. It ended up disturbing the crap out of me and some of the images from it are forever burned in my brain. If you could instill a rage virus in people by showing clips of films, that would be a good place to start.

This year it appears to be Nick Palumbo's "Murder-Set-Pieces." The trailer is below, although it isn't the hardcore version that appears on the website.



I know I shouldn't want to watch it, although perhaps want is too strong of a word. I'm morbidly fascinated by it. The trailer looks sick (not in a good way) - it looks like a film that goes as far as it can to mirror snuff. Yet, there's something about it that draws me in - perhaps it's that sense of wanting to challenge my belief that no movie is too hardcore. And I have to mention that the reviews, too, are hilarious. I believe the gold star must go to CBS news, who said:

"4 out of 4 Stars- For slasher film fans, this is the pot of gold at the end of the blood stained rainbow. The most erotically charged, aggressively deranged, unabashedly brutal American horror film EVER made. The perfect date movie-if your date happens to be Charles Manson. An instant-deeply twisted-classic."

This review alone makes me want to see it. Now I just have to get my hands on it - even in Austin, that might be difficult.

Film Review: "Doomsday" (C-)

You know, I was semi-excited about this film, but also very, very nervous. Why? The trailer made it look like a film where a fanboy made an homage to '80s flick with a plot pretty much copied from better virus movies. Well, I was right to be nervous.

There are bits of "Doomsday" that work, but the vast majority of the movie is a mess. The plot seems to be copied (as are entire scenes) and some of the film just doesn't make any sense. Why would an armored tank that supposedly can withstand chemical warfare not have bulletproof glass? How does a Molotov cocktail and a cannibal with ax manage to crack through that glass? How does a woman, although legitimately kick ass, not suffer - at the very least - a dislocated shoulder after knocking a guy off a speeding bike with an ax and not dropping it? Hitting someone while standing stagnant who is going that speed would do serious damage to BOTH parties. These are just two of many examples that the film suffers from more minor details harming overall story. Which there isn't much of.

I loved "The Descent." Sure, these are two very different types of movies, but where "The Descent" is tightly wound and beautifully paced, "Doomsday" is chaotic and at times, boring. It doesn't even seem to be edited right, or perhaps that's on purpose. Whatever it was, it didn't work - the fight scenes were actually annoying rather than exhilarating and fun, which could have been it's saving grace. The different parts of Glasgow - "Mad Max" wannabes vs. a lame Medieval setup - just didn't fit, even if all Marshall was going for was a laugh. I never thought that I would walk into this movie and have moments where I really wanted it to end.

The only thing I liked about this move was killed way too early. To be honest, I didn't like Rhona Mitra's character - she was baffling and her sentimental side made me roll my eyes. Perhaps that's why I wanted to see more of Sol's girlfriend, who I would call a demented cannibal with Maori tattoos . Why was she not in until the end of the movie? She alone could have made some fucking entertaining scenes. Instead of the lame Gladiator-esque matchup between Eden and a guy wrapped in tin foil, there should have been a grand epic battle between the two women.

I feel like "Doomsday" is, at its best, supposed to be a laughable, entertaining movie. The problem is, it is laughable. Just not in the way Marshall wants it to be. I suggest he go back to movies that aren't completely derivative and have actual artistic quality. This will end up going down as a multi-million dollar botched '80s homage and that's just sad.

Film Review: "May" (A+!)

Wow. A character-driven horror movie with a female lead that is brilliant. I was so surprised, this wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I had heard very good things about this movie for a long time, but the DVD cover didn't exactly entice me ... but finally got it through Netflix and watched it. I ended up loving it! It's definitely going onto my list of favorites.

From opening to closing sequence, this movie is startlingly good. It's a slow-paced film that doesn't need a whole lot of extra things added in to make it any better. The characters are written perfectly, which, for this type of movie, is absolutely necessary. You tumble back and forth between really liking May's shy, intriguing weirdness and feeling nothing but empathy for her ... to cringing when she is struggling to connect with anyone, especially a man. Still, though, you find yourself identifying with her need to just have a friend. Who isn't a doll, anyway.

Part of what makes May so easy to connect with is Angela Bettis' portrayal of her, which is excellent and completely top-notch. Having heard her speak at Fangoria Weekend of Horrors, I know how unnatural that sort of high-pitched, slow voice was for her. Not to mention the way she manages to evoke such emotions in anyone watching the film. I have a special place in my heart for these types of movies, so the good acting all around just made it that much better.

Highlights for me have to be the opening sequence, which I was NOT expecting ... and definitely set the tone for a dark and bloody film. Another favorite is when Adam shows his movie, because May's response is a genius line that had me laughing out loud, but also sufficiently weirded out. I find that to be an awesome combination, myself. The ending, which I found to be fantastic, oddly beautiful and fitting, left me wanting to see so much more. And THAT is a mark of a truly great film.

Book Review: "The Ruins" (A+!)

This book has been on my "to read" list for a very long time, but I only recently got to it. I didn't want to see the movie without having read the book first so that was the catalyst for me finally settling down with it. I ended up devouring it all in one go, finishing at 5am ... and well, let's just say it took me five minutes to even set the book down after reading the last line.

There is just something about this book that, much like the vines, crawls underneath your skin and stays with you. Rarely do horror novels stay with me or even scare me, but this one did. When I finished the novel, I had this moment of wondering what I was supposed to do. It felt like I needed a therapy session, especially with the incredibly bleak ending. I don't know what I was expecting, but the ending just completely floored me. Needless to say, it took me awhile to get to sleep and school the next day was a haze.

The thing about this book is, Scott Smith takes a plot that seems vaguely ridiculous and makes it work flawlessly. I have to admit, when I found out that the so-called villain were vines - or at least that's how they are described - my knee-jerk reaction was one of "oh this is gonna suck." I was wrong. It turns out to prey on what I think is genuinely frightening - something invading your body, making you crazy and turn on yourself, as well as everyone else around you.

The book's also not short on blood. Or any kind of violence at all. The characters, crafted and developed so well, are hard to let go of because you feel genuine empathy for them. They aren't even necessarily making stupid decisions, they just don't know any better. (SPOILER) So when one of them is suddenly forced to amputate both of his friends legs, or when one of them is going batshit insane, you really do feel for them. (END SPOILER)

I highly recommend this novel, although if you like your horror fiction just as simple entertainment, this is probably not for you. It is a profoundly disturbing story that even I found hard to read. I also guarantee that from the moment you open the book, you will be swallowed into a Ruins black hole and not reappear for at least four hours. Definitely give yourself the time to read and don't plan anything for awhile. Include an extra hour for recuperation time. And possibly therapy.